Author: Nobilis Reed

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

I think they’re concerned that they’re somehow being deceived.

Source: hotdadcalendar

This gets to the core of the opposition to marriage equality. Some people cannot imagine a marriage that does not have one person who is, always and without question, the one in charge. That person is “the husband.” 

A marriage that proves that one person doesn’t always have to be “the husband” always and forever does actual damage to the idea that a wife can be an equal partner.

And that’s how marriage equality does damage to “traditional” marriage.

Let’s burn traditional marriage to the ground.

thebrightstar:

finchfry:

the best and most accurate thing

This literally NEVER gets old.

(via everyworldneedslove)

Source: oyesiam1

thecsph:

ecstaticshyv:

theroguefeminist:

huffpostworld:

This ‘personal space’ dress could solve all your public transportation woes.

CREDIT THE INVENTOR: SHE IS AN ARTIST NAMED KATHLEEN MCDERMOTT WHO IS FINISHING HER MFA IN HONG KONG

Also she is developing this technology literally to help women assert their space in public AND MAKE A STATEMENT about how women are treated in patriarchal societies! She is developing other clothes too! You can support her project here: http://www.kthartic.com/index.php?/class/about-urban-armor/

More info:

The dress is the second in a series of projects called Urban Armor, which aim to help women own their space in public arenas that often attempt to deny this right. As McDermott explains in the project statement: “The series arose partly out of my concern over the persistence of ideologies asserted at women in public space through advertising, architecture and socially normative behavior. I began to look for ways women could take more ownership over their personal space in public.”

Basically this woman is a badass feminist artist. Please support her work and spread the word

I want one :3

Boundaries are important (both in and out of the bedroom)!

(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)

Source: huffpostworld

Consent, and Enthusiastic Consent

As with all other areas of human interaction, there are always nuances, complexities, and difficulties. Consent is no exception. It’s not a binary condition. 

That’s why enthusiastic consent is important. Negotiated, eyes wide open, fully informed, enthusiastic consent. When you’ve got that, there are no worries. And that’s damn sexy.

Persuaded consent is still consent, but it’s a nuanced consent that can lead to difficulties down the line. Coerced consent isn’t consent at all, it’s emotional blackmail. And since one person’s persuaded consent is another’s coerced consent, it’s best to stay out of that territory.

Getting further along toward the “enthusiastic” side of the spectrum we have suggested consent. One person wants to have sex, the other isn’t really thinking about sex at all, but once the suggestion is made, they decide, “Hey, that’s a pretty good idea after all.” One could argue that there’s some persuasion going on, but it’s pretty mild.

When people say, “there’s no such thing as consensual sex, there’s just sex; anything else is rape” they’re applying a binary condition to something that’s just not binary. It’s a continuum that goes from “very bad” on one side to “very good” on the other, with varying degrees of badness in between. The only sex that’s completely free of badness is when everyone involved is fully informed, in full posession of their faculties, with no possible regrets.

Which never happens.

People are complicated. They have doubts, both in themselves and in their partners, some of which they may not even be aware of themselves. Consent is never perfect. It may be 99.99% pure, but there’s always that hundredth of a percent of badness going on. It’s just human nature.

Source: jrblackwell

the problem

fanwriter: *racebends classic character*
white dudes: UGH NO CANONICALLY WHITE CHARACTERS MUST BE WHITE FOREVER
fanwriter: *genderflips classic character*
white dudes: GENDER ROLES EXIST FOR A REASON NOPE NOPE NOPE
fanwriter: *creates a queer headcanon*
white dudes: GROSS WHAT THE FUCK NO HOMO
professional writer: *creates original narrative featuring prominent female, POC and/or queer characters*
white dudes: POLITICAL CORRECTNESS MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR ISSUES
professional writer: *tells true story featuring prominent female, POC and/or queer characters*
white dudes: STOP PUSHING YOUR POLITICAL AGENDA DOWN OUR THROATS
feminism: *points out the overwhelming number of straight white male protagonists and creators, argues in favour of diversity*
white dudes: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU COMPLAINING, IF YOU WANT TO SEE THAT SORT OF THING, JUST MAKE IT YOURSELVES, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S HARD OR ANYTHING JFC
literally everyone: ...
Source: fozmeadows

Rampages and Hammers

When “rampages” happen, especially those that have facets that relate to sex and relationships, one of the things I often think about is “What can I do to help? What can I do to change things?”

When the only tool you feel confident in is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a Loki. The tool I’m confident in is fiction, but I am beginning to doubt the efficacy of that tool in this particular situation. 

The people who would need to receive the messages that yes, women are human beings and no, they don’t owe anyone sex, not for any reason andthe way to attract a woman’s romantic attention is to be a decent human being, not to ‘wear her down’  won’t be reading my work, and even if they are they probably wouldn’t catch the metaphor, and even if they did they probably wouldn’t digest it.

No, I have another role, other than author, that may in some small measure make the world a better place, and that’s as a father.

So here is my resolution: I am going to sit down with my son, and lay down the means by which one properly woos a woman in the twenty-first century. Hopefully, with careful coaching, he will not go out into the world as a neanderthal, a Visigoth, or a cad, but as a modern gentleman.